5 Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship
I’m no relationship expert but I certainly know how a thing or two about keeping a relationship.
The partner and I have been each other’s company since 2011 but we’ve known each other long before that, as he was one of my college friend’s closest friends.
It was crazy how things escalated but, to make the long story short: we had our daughter in 2013, moved into our own house in June 2017 and had our son in July. We’ll take about getting married some other time (there are waaay to many bills to think of right now) but let’s just say we agree on long-term engagement. LOL.
Thankfully, my parents have not bugged me about that yet because it would have been awkward. It’s probably mostly because my older brother and his wife separated ways just a year after they got married. And, honestly, if marriage meant going that route, I’d rather not take it.
So, how did we keep the fire burning — bills, kids and all — even after six years?
1. Keeping communication lines open.
Fortunately for us, our relationship started with friendship and there was never really any formal courtship in between, which is probably why we continue to be each other’s buddies. The partner and I know every little detail about each other and there are basically no holds barred when it came to our “secrets”.
The most important thing about keeping your communication lines open is that you learn to address issues right away. The partner can be very blunt towards me at times, and I guess I’m the same towards him.
Last year, I got so deep in debt (mostly because it was under my name but it was really a family expense), that I wasn’t sure if I was brave enough to tell him our situation. I eventually did, and thank goodness, because we’re a team after all, right? Although it took us a while to get used to things, we did came up with an action plan to tackle our unconventional situation (we have a single-income, freelancing household with me as the sole provider and he as the “budget officer”) and we’ve since only fought about money once in our entire six years together.
2. Giving each other some “me” time.
Honestly, this is the hardest part of all to give. I’m naturally a clingy person plus we have two small kiddos to look after. We’re also both just at home and we’re very hands-on parents, with no house help.
In the four months that we’ve started living on our own, and in our own house, we’ve somehow fallen into a routine that enabled us to have some much-needed “me” time. The partner gets his by watching a movie or playing online games at night, when the kiddos and I have gone to sleep. We sometimes alternate nights like this (my favorite “me” time is getting lost in my bubble as I try to work on my blog and/or business) but Wednesday and Saturday nights are his, without fail, except when we go out with friends.
3. Never going to bed angry.
Going to bed angry scares me. Why? Because I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if something bad would happen to either of us and we were not in good terms the night before. Sometimes, my pride still gets in the way especially when I’m really stressed out which is why I always make sure to never let a day pass without saying I love you to him as well as the kiddos. I also make sure to thank the partner for being the kind and loving person that he is, especially when he gives in to my demands and cooks me my favorite meals.
4. Going on occasional dates.
Yet another difficult thing to do, especially now that we have a 3-month-old kiddo at home. However, dates do not have to mean going out to the movies (we really only see the movies for the films that we’ve really been wanting to watch) or on a fancy dinner.
When you’re new parents (again), it can mean something as simple as staying up together at night while you (un)healthily eat snacks and watch your favorite videos or even reading. I also cherish the afternoon walks we take around the neighborhood, not only because it gives us the chance to stretch and exercise, but also because this is the time for holding hands and talking about life, in general.
5. Sharing the workload.
In any relationship, it takes two to tango. And this means that you and your spouse (or partner) should be sharing the load within the family. No matter what responsibility you have in the family, you should always remember that the two of you are equals and that no one is superior over the other, just because they are bringing in more peso into the household or because they are in charge of most of the money.
Two years ago, we decided to leave our corporate jobs and work from home instead. Things happened and we were thrown into the freelancing world — and we also had to live on only one income. Exchanging roles may have been very tough at the beginning but we’ve learned to love our situation, two years later. I do most of the income-generating work now while the partner runs the household.
And, speaking of household chores, I wanted to give the partner a huge shoutout for being awesome as a stay-at-home dad. He cooks, cleans our tiny house, takes care of all three of us and does the laundry. Rainy days like these usually make him sad and gloomy because it means his laundry won’t dry up as fast as he’d love for it to — and we all know what happens: the clothes tend to smell when they don’t dry properly.
Which is why he’s a huge fan of Del Forever Joy and Love Fabric Conditioner, because it has 15x longer lasting bangooooo compared to a regular detergent brand, based on consumer tests in Metro Manila. This means that he can wash all he want (yes, even when there’s a tropical depression LOL) and not worry about the clothes smelling bad. Even Team Kramer trusts Del in keeping their clothes mabango all day.
Disclosure: This post was written as an entry to Nuffnang and Del’s “Secret to a Long Lasting Relationship with Del Forever Fabric Conditioner” Blog Contest.
Oh, hello there!
Pam is an outdoors-loving millennial momma who loves to hike, trek and camp in the beaches and mountains with her partner and their kiddos. When not exploring the great outdoors, she works with bloggers, coaches and solopreneurs to free up their time so they can work on the things that they love and enjoy the most.