We are taking a break from the adventure travel fun today to give way to another slightly mature-ish adventure (not the kind that you think) from our friends at Zoey.ph!
Marriage is a big thing and I know that for a fact because I am not yet ready to leap into that invisible line even if the partner and I already have a two-year-old daughter. It doesn’t mean I have no plans though, it just means that we are taking it a step at a time and that things are great, if not perfect, when we get there. After all, when you get married to that one person, there is no turning back (at least that’s what we believe).
So, how exactly do you know that you are ready to settle down and pop the big question? Assuming, of course, that you have the somebody to ask the question to.
1) The thought of getting tied down no longer scares you.
Saying goodbye to all those booze fest and partying is something that no longer makes you cringe. It’s not to say, of course, that you will totally have to stay away from it because everyone simply needs to get out once in a while. But, you may have to mellow down that wild side and put other things like family and responsibilities higher into your priority list. You and your future spouse can always choose to party together – or you can choose to go out some place else, as long as you are together.
2) You split expenses in nearly all the things that you do together.
In short – you are comfortable when talking about finances with each other. While you can definitely keep a personal budget, you will have to remember that certain things will have to be shared: payments for the house, the car, utilities and so on. It does feel a little better that you have someone to share the expenses with but it also means you can’t just impulsively splurge on unnecessary items and forget family responsibilities.
3) You feel secured and confident with each other.
Gone are the days when you keep on nagging your partner asking him or her where they have been. When you have finally found the one, you become sure of yourself and of everything else. It doesn’t matter where he goes or who he or she is with – okay maybe these things do matter but you are no longer that insecure teenager who constantly checks up their phone to ask what the other is doing and so on.
4) Your future plans have each other in it.
Whether your plans are to on a trip or to start having children, you always have each other in the picture. It simply means that your goals are aligned and that plans are being modified to complement each other’s wants and needs.
5) You know how to handle conflicts with each other in a mature manner.
Did you ever go through that social-media-hogging-teenager phase? I have. Every emotion I had was always in constant display in the Internet and I realized that a majority of them were negative ones. Once you are ready to settle down, you learn to act more maturely and realize that Facebook is not the best media to use for resolving conflicts with your partner. Call him or her on the phone or, better yet, have a serious talk in person. Then, kiss and makeup.
6) You are not each other’s dream spouse.
I always believe that love is not an emotion but instead a decision to keep. What would happen if your partner got wrinkly all of a sudden or that you found out just how loud he (or she!) snores or that his abs or her hour-glass figure starts accumulating some flab? When you become mature enough, you accept every little bit of the person for who they are and who they are not. Their minor flaws will not matter and you have no plans of changing them either.
Marriage is not all that easy – and living in (and having an implied engagement, I assume) has given us a taste of how it is to be with a complete stranger. But, I am pretty sure that the partner and I are in this for the long haul and that we are ready to go through ups and downs together because we are mature that way.
So, are you now ready to get married?
Thank you to Zoey.ph for sending out an engagement ring for me and saving le partner some money (assuming he’s buying one for me) from such expense. Haha! All thoughts and opinions in this post are mine.